The Battle for Swimming
A cold shiver ran down my spine…the race was about to begin. I could feel the freezing grip of the wind forcing me to take another shivering step forward. I crept towards what seemed to be a monster ready to crunch me to dust in one ferocious deadly gulp. Suddenly the buzzer went and I pounced onto the monster like a tiger attacking his prey. For a second I thought I had lost the battle but then with a kick of my legs I broke through the surface of ice, gasping for air. I had made it. I felt so wonderful. I could hear the crowd roar like a bear trying to force itself from a trap. The wind was whispering something in my ear. As I collected my third card I beamed with pride. I could smell the chlorine sticking to me and my wet togs gripping my body like a hand of ice but I didn’t care. I was just happy to have made it.
By Viola.
The Race
I was on the diving board ready to go. The water was staring at me, beckoning me to dive in. BEEP! The horn went off. I dived into the water, the person next to me made a tidal wave over me as I bulleted off. I couldn’t hear or see anything, it was all a blur. With a mouth full of water I glanced at my opponent, he was just in front of me. I knew I needed to go faster. I swam with all my might but he kept getting in front of me. With one last push I hauled myself to the finish line. When I got my card I just about exploded. I couldn’t believe it, I had won!
By Billy.
3 comments:
Billy and Viola, what amazing writing! Viola I loved how you likened the water to a monster. Billy, the way you described the way the water was staring at you, and that it was beckoning you in really created a visual image in me head. Well done both of you.
Mrs Maclean.
These are two fabulous pieces of writing.You should both be very proud of yourselves.
You have both included great descriptions, i felt as though i was there in your stories! Well Done!
Miss Jeston (Plymouth, UK)
Wow Viola and Billy, your recounts were so interesting to read! I love all the description. I am glad you both enjoyed the day and I really enjoyed coming to share the swimming sports day with you all Room 8. I hope everything is going well in your class and I can't wait to see the Antarctica documentaries when they come up on the blog. Have a good week:-)
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